But First – Let Me Take a Selfie! Are You Friend or Frenemy?

But First – Let Me Take a Selfie! Are You Friend or Frenemy?

At a time when reality tv, talent searches, Facebook live’s, You Tubers and IG storytellers-influencers-ambassadors dictate the speed of (e)commerce – a growing number of us believe that everyone deserves their 15 minutes of fame. And why not? We’re all storytellers.

All of our behavior is communicating a message. Your *mess* is your message, so own it. Don’t be shy, it can work for you! This is your BRAND. (omg, she said *mess* but I’m not!… am I?)

Now is actually the perfect time to be a Drama Queen!

There’s nothing that says a desire for attention is a bad thing. You can want attention because it feels good… You can want it because you have something to say or accomplish… And when you make yourself out to be the hero of your story, even better! If your *mess* is your message, let your story be good! Let your brand reflect something authentic. Let it be a triumphant tale worthy of your best self.

But there’s a fine line between *shining your light* in a naturally effervescent way versus taking on narcissistic qualities. You could be the most naturally charismatic person and it would still be distinctly different from trying to upstage everyone in the room… making a scene, dominating conversations, one-upping, claiming special-ness, being high-maintenance, expecting deferential treatment…

Do the people around you become invisible once you make your grand entrance?

Have you unwittingly ascended to the role of DQ? Could this be you?… A common point of view is that “Drama Queens (DQs, for short), however, are a very elite group of women and men highly skilled in both engaging and repelling everyone around them.” Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D. While we here at The Drama Queen Club want to ditch that assessment, that type of behavior does show up around us. We’re not judging, so don’t get it twisted! You can’t please 100% of people, 100% of the time. Whew! Right?

Ask yourself a few questions. See if you could reign it in a bit…

Relationship Threats: Are YOU a Drama Queen?

1. When you are listening to a friend recount some recent triumph or sorrow, are you already flipping through your own mental roster of “Great Moments in the Life of Me” to find just the right “I can top that!” vignette?
2. When something relatively minor in life doesn’t go your way – the elevator door closes just as you walk into the lobby, the last “best seat” is taken at the movies, or the featured special of the day is sold out at the café – do you take it as a personal insult or attack on your dignity?
3. When something relatively minor in life doesn’t go your way, do you feel compelled to make sure everyone within earshot – at that moment or three hours or even three weeks later! – hears about what happened and how unjust the world can be to you?
4. When something wonderful happens to you – you win the lottery, you get that promotion, or you ace that class – do you feel the need not only to brag on your success, but pick apart the good fortune you just enjoyed to point out how things could have been even better, if the world was truly a just place?
5. Do you often feel like you are “playing to an audience,” rather than sharing with your friends?
6. Do you believe that there can only be one star in any relationship or gathering?
7. Does it seem like your personal “drama in three acts” production is losing audience members even before the first intermission?
8. If you were in the middle of a conversation with a friend, and you were asked point blank, “What did your companion just share with you?” would you be able to answer correctly? Or would you have been lost in your own head thinking of how you can divert the attention back to you?

Is time to re-think your perspectives on self-importance and two-way relationships? Are the people around you supposed to give appropriate, generic, homogenous responses of “Oh!” or “No!” or “At last!” when you tell your tales? Are you surrounded by the bobble heads of nodding Yes-men?

Maybe it’s time you allow others in your life to take center stage, so they can enjoy the limelight, and receive the adoration that we all so clearly deserve. Think about it. People will only stick around so long until they are done with the canned laughter. At some point there’s got to be some reciprocity.

Don’t you realize you could be larger than life directing focus to someone else? What do you think a “Hype Man” is for? You’re not being a Drama Queen while you’re being someone else’s cheerleader!

Drama + Queen

NOW is the time to be a Drama Queen who lives AS the Queen OF Her Drama… practicing deliberate choices, like the ones actors make in each scene. Like performers, we can choose our responses, we can pick out and emphasize what we respond TO. Being dramatic doesn’t make you a drama queen. It makes your life JUICY.

IMAGINE how much juicier life can be when we share the spotlight, hmmm… Anyone up for some good cop, bad cop?